Mother’s Day is less than a week away. Similar to Christmas, many people are doing last-minute shopping for their mothers. But men seem to be more and more hesitant about participating if you are not their biological mother. Which leads me to ask: Should husbands buy their wives (especially if she is the mother of their children) Mother’s Day gifts? Why or why not? Before answering, allow me to share my original perspective along with a little history.
My Story
Because I used to like slightly older men, I have dated a few fellas with kids. During those times, I have always encouraged or supported them in giving at least a card to the mother of their child. But in the last couple of years as a gift peddler, I have learned ( shockingly) that quite a few older married men do not buy Mother’s Day gifts for their wives.
“She’s not my mom,” they say, and my jaw drops to the floor.
Is it because the kids are grown and gone that they respond pithily?
OK. I get that, but isn’t she still their mother regardless of her children’s ages? I think this but don’t ask.
But in my head, I always hope they will respond from the heart to the tune of: “She is not my mom, but she is the beautiful mother of our kids, and that’s pretty aMayzing! So yes, I’ll shower her with gifts for as long as I live.”
Then I would dab my tear-filled eyes with a handkerchief.
That has not happened.
To my surprise, the following scenario is not what the founder of America’s maternal holiday, Anna Jarvis, had in mind.
Her Story
Miss Jarvis held the first Mother’s Day in 1907 as a church service at Andrews Methodist Episcopal Church in Grafton, West Virginia. By 1911 all states observed the holiday. And in 1914, President Woodrow Wilson designated the second Sunday in May as Mother’s Day —a national holiday to honor mothers.
Jarvis had many reasons for the holiday. She was a peace activist during the American Civil War, her mother had died, and she thought, as many still do, that a mother is “the person who has done more for you than anyone in the world.”
Unfortunately, after the holiday commercialization started less than a decade later, Jarvis lost her peace. She is cited as protesting the sale of cards, carnations, and candies in celebration of Mom’s special day. Hallmark was figuratively on her “hit list.” She was even arrested for her “righteous anger.” Jarvis had created this holiday, and she simply wanted us all to write our own sentiments to our mothers.
As a writer, I actually like that idea. It reminds me of elementary school. We made our cards, decorated envelopes, and slipped personal love letters to Mom inside. Simple. And on Sundays at church all the mothers were recognized.
So now you know what I did not know before.
To all the men I led astray, “I sincerely apologize.”
But does any of this background information change anything for you? Are you a traditionalist, thinking the whole holiday is too commercial and that Mom should be the queen of the day, receiving sweet thoughts from only her children, with no variations? Or are you determined to do it your own way?
So I ask again, who will you celebrate on the second Sunday in May? Will it be your mother? And men, will it include your baby’s momma? 🥰 Really,
Leah
p.s. If you are in Ocala, you can still grab items with Mom in mind at The Gallery on Magnolia or The Gathering Cafe. Items made by me.
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