ARE WE HAVING FUN YET?

Part 1 of 2

Back in college, I had a tremendous amount of fun. I think. Some of it I don’t really remember. The parts I do recall were the things average students did in college. You can use your imagination. All I know is that I thank God there was no social media back then.

You see, I came along when people did the wild and crazy things you catch a glimpse of on social media, but there were no smartphones around. There were small handheld cameras, however. And anyone with half a brain would try to straighten up or turn the other way when they saw a small light positioned in their direction. 

College was not all to blame. I actually did some even dumber things after I graduated college. Dumb in the sense that I had grown up in church, going to Sunday School and Vacation Bible School. At some point in my early childhood, I walked to the altar to make my “confession of faith” before the modest Baptist congregation. The following Sunday, I was wrapped in white and baptized for all to see. Before and after baptism, I sang in the children’s choir and participated in church programs. 

When I was about to complete middle school, I took a more significant step toward God because I thought the world would end. Someone had erroneously prophesied that God was returning that year, and the adults at the church my family was invited to attend were taking the prophecy quite seriously. I did not want to be left behind, so I made my way to the altar of this non-denominational church, and there I cried while hands were laid on my back and people spoke in foreign tongues behind me. 

Even though Jesus did not return that year, as Bible believers should have known because “no one knows the day or hour of His return,” I was different. I knew my mother was different. She had thrown away all the alcohol and many of the albums that were integral to my earlier years. She even sold the bar with the black patent leather finish and the dark mahogany top with crystal glasses on top that my best friend and I used to sneak and make cocktails from when the adults were away. Mom even gave up smoking after learning from church that her body was the temple of God. I realized that too but struggled with that message and the ones I was also learning from a stack of Judy Blume books. 

I was still on my Ps and Qs when I entered high school. I loved the Lord. I regularly attended that same church with my mom and had started writing a small newsletter with one of my best friends in school (sadly, now deceased). Jason loved Jesus, too, and was in the same homeroom classes for four years. As first-year students, we rode the same bus, where we started writing a Christian newsletter for teens. I don’t know what happened to our zeal for Christ. For me, I think it was popularity and boys, and my friend Jason, well, he turned to Goth, wearing black clothes, black eyeliner, mousse-spiked mohawks, and singing Boy George songs. We remained friends and know-it-all teenagers who would change the world, but it was no longer really for Christ.

When I set foot on my college campus, something had changed in me again. I wanted to leave everything about my hometown at home except God. I kept going to church, dressed in my Sunday best–even after drinking and partying from Friday evening through late Saturday night. It did not matter; come Sunday, I would show up at the Baptist church by 11 am if I were in town. Sometimes I could not keep my eyes open, and I could not recall a sermon if I tried, but I was there. And after church, my friends and I would go to the soul food diner nearby. 

Church at college was routine. I was checking a box of not “forsaking the gathering of Believers” without following God’s commandments. But I did not see it. I looked and acted like the rest of my friends. 

We were “good” people but “carrying on in unrestrained behavior.” Life felt good until it did not because we were making up our own rules and doing our own things. Looking back, I realize it was an emotionally toxic way to live, being tossed here and there with every whim of our doctrine, which amounted to: “If it felt good and looked good, then we should.” And I did. I bought it, ate it, and drank it with no one to answer to but myself. 

God was only relevant when things went sour, which was inevitable. Then, I cried, “Oh, God, where are you?” Sadly, once the pain wore off or my memory lapsed, I would get into my messes again. 

Honestly, God was scary to me, and the less I thought about God, the better. I thought God would ruin my fun, and I did not want to live with boundaries. I thought the lies the world promised (everybody will like you if you are friendly, let that boy drive your car, drink with no consequences, charge it on credit, etc.) were where the fun was. 

God was my go-to when life hurt really bad, the world made no sense, and I had nowhere to turn. I often put God in the “see ya Sunday at church box.” But the rest of the week was mine. 

I understand now that the aforementioned lifestyle is what we call religion. Religion is knowing of God without really knowing God for yourself. Religion was going to church but not being “The Church.” Religion is a one-time confession instead of an everyday intention to hear from God.

Back then, I was religious. I knew of God. But I had no real revelation of an only Good God, who loves the socks off of me. I had no realization of His impeccable character and how my Heavenly Father creates and cares for His children. 

But I do now! And I am here to tell anyone it is so much more fun and rewarding on this side. Oh, how I wish I had gotten it right earlier. My “best life” could have started in middle school had I stayed focused. 

Reflecting on those days, I realize there was always something (the Holy Spirit) in me that knew all the stuff I was exploring in the world was worthless. Unfortunately, I did not incorporate enough intimate time into my schedule to really get to know Jesus as Lord and Savior. Even at this age, I must avoid things that would lure me away from His presence.

You may feel a similar tension in your life. Maybe you know God and go to church, but you don’t want to be like the people at your church or the people you consider church people. Maybe the world, with no boundaries, looks like a happier place. Or perhaps you don’t feel like you fit in, either. I can tell you two things: Do not base your relationship with God on anyone but Jesus because people will let you down. Learn from those in positions of authority, learn from this blog, but follow Jesus only. Don’t follow Leah. God wants to be the head of your life and have a direct connection to you at all times. Two, the people on Instagram are not having that much fun unless they follow Jesus with all their hearts. And it is hard to show the inward workings of the heart, so you might as well stop searching and try Jesus for yourself. 

Trying Jesus for yourself is doing what I should have done earlier on. It involves setting time to read and study the Bible. Schedule this time like you would a date. Put it in your phone. Set a reminder. Pray for God to give you understanding. Then begin reading the Gospels (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John). Take notes and take your time while you read. And in the evenings, instead of watching some crazy movie or scrolling through social media feeds, consider binge-watching The Chosen series via the Angel network. The series will likely generate more questions, which will cause you to pray and read your Bible more! 

Well, that is all for now. I could share more, but I decided to save it for later. So check back tomorrow for practical steps on how to deal with distractions. It will inspire you. Thank you for reading and sharing. Really,

Leah